Poetry

Some of my poetry.

The Static Rainstorm

A restless heart, once torn apart
beholds a cage of half-hewn rage
The old and new still showing through
The scarlet drops upon the page
Expanding and rising
The warmth so surprising
Her image sufficient to shatter the ice
That thrives in the chill and holds him in still
Decrying his soul as a soulless device
Old mockery, laughter
Pursue him long after
The coldest of years have fled silently by
But their presence suffices to strngthen the ice
As he nurtures the fire he has found deep inside

See the Re-uptake Mirrored; the Mind Becomes Cognizant of Itself

My hands remember where they have been.

Everyone knows where my hands have been
The posty man and the empty worms that eat across my hands
make it so hard to write but they deserve to live too.
I’m such an animal; the scent of me breaking out everywhere
is going to bleed me dry
As I wait for the last tear to drop from your forehead all the blood and how
hot it is makes me want to vomit; to no longer be the observer but merely
The observed.

Cat’s Eye Gone 7:92

Churn down, turn around
Constant fear of losing ground
And utter nonsense falling down
To shatter in the snow.

Be it real of be it dread,
Find your missing teeth instead
And plant them gently in your head
I doubt things that I know

Be you one or be you three
I’ve seen you live inside of me
And oft I’ve found my memories
Played with by a stranger

The are not ones to linger on
They reappear and then are gone
At first a king and now pawn
In calculated danger.

Field Dance

Scream me peel me
I wont take the power that way anymore
But you’re wrong; I’m a whore
And I’d love to sleep in the dreaming reaches
Of a mind with you
But either that mask you pull
Means rapture or mockery
Persisting in front of me
I will not balance any longer.

Spin around, appease the hunger
on flanks of easier meat
In you not a feast
But a gourmand’s dreamt of dish
The complexity of flavor
Vaults across the chamber
Of living echoes I call a soul
Not entirely mine
And resonates, a living memory
Even when the scent is gone
Inadequate yet always pointing to the sun

Walking in a rain of tears
Not falling dreary
But drenching and renewing old parched soil
Dripping down, eternal seeds
Flung from older loves and dreams
A field that won’t regenerate from toil
But needs a pagan dance,
And sweet romance,
A dappled moon for audience alone
Just a hand to harvest when it’s grown.

Less Than Lies

You looked at me
So perfectly
A chance to change was all I asked for
And in the sea
It crushes me
Exploding years of make-believe
That look, your eyes
Told me I’d died
I vowed I’d never try again.

My hands are claws
Cutting through the time I’ve lost
My only crime I crossed the line
From death to love
And in the sea
It crushes me
Ten thousand years of make believe
Your love of lies
Told me to cry
And vow to never try again…

Dark Garden

Time is spent in useless hours
Of counting all the countless flowers
Their beauty lost to blinded eyes
That cannot see how number lies
It never measures pleasure.

But sight comes yet to this blind eye
The voices cannot always lie
So now I see God’s sown in me
The seeds of instability

I strode bright roads but lost my way
And wandered where the darkness lay
To claim my burning spirit
I listened to that voice today
Remember what it had to say?
But you claimed you couldn’t hear it…

That voice it whispers rumors black
I try but I can’t push it back
For the seeds that God has sown in me
Have grown into insanity.

That vine with fruit now bends so low
It nears my lips and even though
Its scent hangs heavy on the air
And calls to me, I do not dare
Partake of it; but now I see
This vine of old insanity
That calls so irresistably
Already has a hold on me
It’s mine and mine alone.

So now you see
God’s made of me
A living thing that should not be
But listen close,
And come quite near
There’s something yet for you to hear
I’ll whisper it into your ear
(I’ll give it all to you, my dear)
A darkness lasting untold years

So hear that voice and now you see
The world the way it looks to me
I’m saddened that this had to be
The vine is yours; and I am free.

I Believe

In you I saw
My passions raw
And yours so deep in me
I scream in change
But dream of rain
The rain you also see
A violent shower that steals our power
To distinguish love from hate
That seems to cry we have to die
Before we learn it’s not too late

I leave my pain behind again
In rain that seethes with silent cries
The world made new I look to you
That pain now shows from out your eyes

What strange connection have I found
Like rod that leads the lightning down
Makes all my fears, my loves, my griefs
My hunger and my stone beliefs
FInd a match in you
I look, but no, they do not show
Without the depths of your green eyes
So I start to search this dusty church
That holds my soul and all its lies

And so I walked within my thoughts
Forgotten halls of memory and more
Then heard some sound and so I found
An often used but unremembered door
So far within those bolted rooms that form my mind’s deep core
I saw where feet had marred the dust that lay upon the floor
I saw they matched strange tracks I’d passed so many times before
Causing wonder as to who had passed along my mind’s warped floor
I knew the answer must but lie behind that silent door

As the door swung open noislessly
Old passion seethed anew in me
I knew somehow the scene inside
But still that knowledge strove to hide
I couldn’t force it forth
And as I passed that stangest portal
I left the world of merely mortal
For there I saw our lives made real
We’re more than what our hearts can feel
I wasn’t even shocked to find
This corridor led straight into your mind.

No need to wonder any longer
Why what goes around just comes back stronger
The link that I have finally found
Releases me where I am bound
The answer to this mystery
Is me in you, and you in me

How I Learned To Be Afraid, or:

The Day I Discovered the Great God Rotor Knew My Name

My heart was pure, my mind was free
From darkened dreams that now I see
A quiet time of innocence
An eternal verb without a tense
Was all I sought to be
But now I know that time it hath
The orgins of a psychopath
For how could this sad monster come
From anything but Adam’s son
Original sin made real in one
Who never saw a chance
I can barely remember that time of no sorrows
When there wasn’t a limit to how many tomorrows
My heart could touch; I didn’t feel much
But still there was time to be happy
I thought I had finally come to the verge
Of the first and the last chance to feed that light urge
To cause mine and another’s hearts to converge
I was wrong, I was wrong
I had started a song with no end
Just a tune to call up a friend
That would never never hear.
Take that, laughing god of the heathen Christians.

…Scream Twice If You’re Alive

Can you scream? ‘Cause it seems that we’re wasting away for a glimpse at a
night that’s brighter than day where the snakes and the lizards and the
booming bullfrogs become flakes in a blizzard of howling white dogs that just
shriek in the pain of indelible stains on the soul of a lonesome old man, who
just shakes yellowed fingers at a frolicsome moon while it capers around like
a silken cocoon filled with dreams of a time when the cocks crowed at noon and
a flea left the pelt of the wisest baboon for the hot smell of death that’s
come much too soon but still stakes it’s claim for the last chance at fame that
either of us ever might reach.
The stars in the sky cannot teach us to fly from our troubles whenever
we wish, but don’t worry, no hurry, you’re just lost in a flurry of emotions
that clean us like fish on the hood of worn out Mercedes that rattles and
coughs on its way down to Hades as our hair and our eyes slowly burst into
flame that sputters and flares in continual rains of those tears shed in
years when there’s nothing to fear but look into eyes filled with madness; and
an aching eternity of dark velvet sadness that soothes and protects like a
drink to refresh us whenever we feel our hearts sing like steel that’s been
struck in a forge of hot coals, where a life rife with holes just suddenly
tears in incredible flares of old buried agony then calls down the halls to
the small twisted dolls with skin like cream and eyes that scream of a long
long way to go. Can you scream?

Worth the World

I saw the sun come out one day
A burning brilliant spirit
That calmed my soul and seemed to say
Though death is cold we shouldn’t fear it,
Nor waste our time on worries
For after all our hurries
To finally be done, there’s yet the sun
Shining on a grassy grave.

That orb poured down a picture show
Of lives, and dreams, and things that grow
My eyes held fast I saw at last
A form to life’s unceasing flow;
A pattern, just a simple game
How in the end it’s all the same
To those who lie below.

Too soon the sun then fled my view
Forever gone, yet still there too.
The price I’d paid worth what I’d bought
Hours gone past in moments of thought
Of things with no end that haven’t begun,
A spinning wheel that’s never done
And though that light has taken my sight
I have no regrets,
For I have seen the sun.

Quiet Destruction

He sat quite still in sun and rain
He never spoke a word
He knew that if he did again
He’d find once more no one had heard
A silent song, so soft, so strong
It never would stay still for long
But speak a word and find it gone
Indifferent eyes expressed how wrong
He had to be to hear this song.

So see him sit so silently
You’d never feel the heat
For truth that burns eternally
Is cold and hard like stinging sleet
But cuts right through the misty lies
Just look into his eyes! His eyes…

They shine into the silent skies
Like beacons in a flaming tower
They’ll draw you in to feel the power
That seethes and writhes behind those eyes
Before which even saints will cower
For even God did not devise
These eyes that shine, and glint, and glower
Now in the sky a midnight blotch
Invisible to Those Who Watch
For signals of the molten flower;
Calls to wake death’s final hour.

The Left End of Nothing

In dreaming thoughts we sometimes see
The shades of things that should not be
But still have come to pass
And dreams of sleep can sooth the mind
Though waking up you come to find
That piece of mind just will not last.

Memories, a happy day
Here not long, then gone away
But giving us the strength to say
That feeling’s worth the price you have to pay.
For what in life is worth that pain
Gone so long then back again
Taking all you thought to gain
Making everything that’s special look so plain
The answer’s really nothing new
If you think, you’ll find you know it too
Emotions most just can’t define
That lifts the soul and fills the mind
It’s love
And faith
And hope
And truth
Feelings most just lose in youth
(Though Passion cries to let it loose)
But this deep ken you can retrieve
You have to care, but most you must believe.

Brighter Than Fire, Blacker Than Secrets

I dreamt her face last night in bed
Again it brought that weight of dread
For far too long it’s all gone wrong
You know an empty smile can’t wake the dead.

A crystal sphere in solitude
Won’t ressurrect a vanished mood
It’s lonely shine wont light a mind
For that the tally must be two

Old loves once tainted, suspicion painted
Can never burn so clean again
They smoke and smolder, growing colder
But always hot enough to light the flames.

So you find me afraid to show to the world
An untarnished love so newly hurled
From the furnace of passions I still call my heart
To define it would be to tear it apart
But I know in my soul its nature, its measure
I know that it’s not just a craving for pleasure
It’s greater than visions of Heaven, or Hell
As pure as the former; the latter as well
And who do I love? I dare not speak her name,
For know if I do, blind fate will hear too
Then chaos is come again.

Too Close to Heaven

A modest construction
Building hope from destruction
A pillar of fire punches holes in the sky
Burning new truth to destroy vanquished lies
And we see at the summit a man on his knees
His eyes dark as night but his lips breathing “please”
And end to remorse and a wait for the horse
Bearing Death in those robes of surcease.
The wind whispers low as it silently grows
To a howl that can’t match his screaming gaze
It draws off the chill that pours from him still
As he kneels staring up, and prays.

Prayers for relief from intangible thieves
Who only will steal what He struggles to hold
The stars in the sky shine as bright as the lies
He’d always believed in as told.
God does not speak as tears run down his cheeks;
Another old lie for the vacant of spirit
He breathing stops, he notices not,
So when the word comes he can no longer hear it.
He’s too close to heaven.

Lonely

Flaming talons, fever dripping
The simple sound of anger ripping
Pulling strength from flyblown eyes
And silence where the shaper lies

Half-formed thoughts of hidden woe
An aching scar that will not go
No sympathy from any shore
The corpselike flesh just can’t care more

But what boils out this empty stage?
The actors, dead, now back to rage
At ghosts of thoughts in borrowed clothes
Their lines the lies the Old One knows

And in the hall just one lone shape
Seated still, dull fear his cape
To cloak him from the play he sees
Truth meant to harm and not to please

And still it goes, it bends and flows,
He fears the secrets that it shows
A frantic glance, a look askance,
The seats save his are empty rows

So he sits and dies within
His shame so plain to see
And seething through his manic grin,
These words:
“There’s no one here but me.”

Lethe

Open eyes see a sky outside
And wait in the rain and the cold
The youth of his face not sufficient to hide
The fact that his eyes are so old

He watches the rain forming pools in the street
And searches for something to hold
His gaze in the pool a Reflections’s eyes meet
The same man with eyes not so old

He steps in the pool and stands staring down
The day drifting on into night
He gives up his soul like something once found
And into the pool he sinks slowly from sight.

Untitled (001)

A mind in torment, passions seething
Sees the world in silent dreaming
Faith is crushed, hopes are broken
Burning words that must be spoken
In Sound
And Pictures
And in Life
And in Dreams
The words are the same; from pain
Out this mind through hands to beauty
So that some might listen, for a short while
While the roil remains in mind and art

See It

An empty old man
In his world without plan;
Sitting alone in his house, with his wife
Woke as from a sleep
And thought long and deep
And left on a quest for the meaning of life.

Long wandered he,
Many things did he see
He thought not a thought for his wife
To dark lands he was bound
But nowhere he found
The one who could tell him a meaning to life.

He passed through the Gate,
His thoughts far too late
For the youth he had wasted alone with his wife
But this city did bind
The one with the mind
That could tell him the ultimate meaning to life.

To this demon he spoke
As he lost all his hope
And he thought not a thought to go back to his wife
But peaceful was he
To finally see
That really, there wasn’t a meaning to life.

Empty World

As he walked through his house and out of the door
On a dreary day like today
He walked for a while and sat for some more
Just sat there with nothing to say
And only the wind heard the words that he uttered;
It took them and blew them to minds far away

Screaming for Presence

Hold my head to your soft grip
Touch my heart, it’s yours to rip
Missing you whenever I’m alone…

A bright blue sky inside your eyes
Pours its light into my mind
You gave me something more than lies
The thing I feared I’d never find
Just a look from you;
The doors break open
A word drifts from your lips
And makes my heart a haven, again
For the dreams I’ve lost
The pits I’ve crossed,
The holes in my beliefs
Close beneath my feet
For a short while.
But I’m dying for nothing
‘Cause that’s all I’ve got
I’m freezing to death
But your breath is so hot
Just help me
Save me
Hold me
Bathe me
In the warmth of your smile
I think I’d live forever
With you
With just you.

…And All is Right with the World

I thought you knew me
We saw the same
Tomorrow would never come
But for a sign from God.
As I waited
The world left me standing
I watched you leave
Knowing that you’d come back this time
A desolate ruin on an empty plain
Seeing the same things over again
Tears never showed in my eyes
As I cried, inside, for a memory
Waiting for a sign from God.
The pain of glass with you outside me
The things I saw and never touched
My heartbeat slows down with the seasons
I cared, but never said how much
Snowing on the empty plain
The feelings flow and never wane
But for a sign from God
The tissue paper world inside
Knows things I show, and try to hide;
The column of mourners, crying now,
Don’t hear me as they bury me alive.
And I sleep
And I dream…

Bursting With Life

Messing your life away
You pass in a blur, and pause;
Dreamy laughter licks my ears
As I wait for the blade to fall
Seeing the sky
Blood red and broken
Missing my eyes
It’s all coming open
I’m waiting to die
The darkness is choking
As I sing with a scream that’s no more than a token
Of the pain I’ve endured to show that I’m coping
In a world full of nothing where truth’s just a lie
My tears cannot cleanse me but yet I still cry
For a treasure that even my soul cannot buy.
In the night; the future a memory
Close those sightless eyes.

Burning Skin

Warm as honey on my tounge
Pulsing, moving,
Breathing, proving
That now this life is livable
My sins are all forgivable
In this eternal instant
That warms my cold cold mind.

Taste the tips and warm soft sighs
The darkened depths of your green eyes
And soothing skin on silken thighs
Brings belief but still belies

The emptiness, a missing man
There is an end to what began
In silence, and in solace
You gave me wings and let me fly
We watch the slow world pass us by
As we lie dreaming in a bed made of flowers
Forgetting the time instead of counting the hours
The world flows endlessly away.